The Tank 300 Cybertank would sell like hotcakes in L.A.

Chinese company Tank has unveiled a new concept at the Shanghai Auto Show. Called the 300 Cybertank, it’s a horror movie of a vehicle, so grotesque you can’t help but stare. Its — well, design might be too generous a word — styling is a blend of several different SUVs, everything from a Jeep Renegade to a Toyota Land Cruiser to a Ford Bronco to a Defender 110.

It’s based on Tank’s existing 300 model, a large SUV with the footprint of about a BMW X4. However, it adds a whole slew of fancy lights, body kit accoutrements, and luxury (but still hideous) interior.

The sad thing is, the base Tank 300 seems like a pretty great SUV. It rides on a true ladder frame construction, eight-speed automatic and a longitundinally mounted 2.0-liter turbo four generating 224 horsepower and 285 lb-ft of torque. We could see it becoming a pretty popular platform for building an off-road rig if Tank came to the U.S. It’s just, ugh, that styling.

Well, there is one place in the U.S. we can think of where the 300 Cybertank would thrive, though. Los Angeles, home of the tacky G-Wagens. The boxy Mercedes SUVs are everywhere in Hollywood, usually festooned with 24-inch aftermarket wheels, added chrome, and a matte purple or lizard green wrap.

All Tank would have to do to sell the Cybertank here is throw a giant three-pointed star logo, preferably glowing, on the grille. And don’t worry about what happens when passengers climb inside. The Cybertank’s interior has been luxo-fied from the base 300’s black plastic. It already looks like that of a high-end Benz, but even gaudier, which in this context means better.

The reduced approach and departure angles due to the aero kit won’t matter to buyers. No L.A. G-Wagen ever sees dirt. Tank could probably even charge two or three times the 300’s $27,000 base price.

Tank is a young brand, even for the Chinese market. Really, it’s not even a month old. Prior to April 2021, the Tank 300 was a model in the Wey lineup. Wey itself was a luxury division of Great Wall Motors started in 2017. At this rate, the Cybertank will be its own brand in a matter of weeks. Come on, Tank. Our E-list celebrities and social media stars are waiting.

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